"Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them." - Alma 56:47
I must have this huge disclaimer on me that I can't see that apparently says "take advantage of me."
I'm a gay mormon, so I already the tendency to be more emotional than most guys. I give and give and give with all the relationships in my life. At times I do it from the good of my heart, and at other times I admit I do it because I want a friend to feel obligated to reciprocate that love and care to me.
If some people would just look outside themselves and see that there is a person who genuinely loves them and cares about them. I stand there and most of the times these people just look right through me to other people in their lives who aren't even that great.
I know I'm not perfect. I know I make mistakes. I know I have truly crazy moments of attachment from being gay. I also know that I'm a damn good friend to people. I have always prided myself on the caliber of friend I am to people. I am the best friend that you see in movies, on TV, that you always wish for growing up.
I'm over people in my life who can't make up their damn mind. If you want to be my friend, then be it. Don't do it half ass. Make a decision and stick with it. Stop flip-flopping on your thoughts and your wants. Don't one second not want to talk to me and be completely detached and then the next act like you care about me. All that does is string my heart along and make it harder for me to move on.
I'm an Exercise Physiology Major, and as such I am required to enroll in the Exercise Physiology class and corresponding lab. Today for lab we were required to do the skin fold test on our classmates and then have them do it on us.
I was dreading having the skin fold test done on myself. I was always the fat kid in elementary school and middle school. My body fat percentage was always a considerable amount higher than all the Ethiopian bean poles I went to school with. I'm in some of the best shape I've been in a long time right now, but I still have flash back nightmares of being teased and called fatty. So I was very shy about removing my shirt and showing my stomach. I quickly put on my shirt as soon as I could once I was done.
Then came the next part of the lab...
Each person in our group was supposed to find two people outside of class to do the skin fold test on. I called up a buddy I just met this semester, (who I do find attractive) and then I wandered into the fi…
I found out about GMSW through a mutual friend. Our friend was the one who first found the blog and told me about it. I read it and could not
hold back my tears. All the pain my best friend had gone through and I had NO
idea. It was something that ate at me constantly. I could not believe all the
things he had gone through and the worst thing was that he had to keep it to
himself because nobody knew about him and wouldn’t understand. It broke my
heart. After reading it I realized that it didn’t bother me at all. GMSW was
still the exact same person. I still loved him with all my heart and wanted to
let him know that I had no issue with this.
About a month into our last semester at college I confronted
GMSW and told him that I knew about his secret. Little did I know… he already
knew that. During our conversation I could not contain my tears. I felt as if I
was crying for him. I let out all my emotions that night. I told him that I
felt so bad for not being able to help him through hi…
Friday morning as I was getting ready for my morning classes, my roommate Scott called me into his room. He was working on a discussion board for his online religion class.
Scott: "Dude I'm on here gay bashing!" Me: (exasperated) "Dude..." Scott: "Not really. But read what I wrote." (I had him email me a copy) "People aren't naturally gay. They are naturally straight. It's mind boggling that people actually believe that. It's your lustful desires that actually make you believe that you are feeling attracted to the same sex. God has clearly stated that marriage is for man and woman. Men are attracted to women and I know I've had temptations for them as well. Women have temptations to be with men, and it's true that the desire people have to be gay are also in that same category of sin: that they are attracted and lusting after something that they want. This is not what they were forced to have, these 'natural' feelings as t…