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Showing posts from March, 2013

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

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THE FAMILY A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of theChurch of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day SaintsWE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children. ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of…

All Too Well

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If you've been following my blog, you've noticed that this semester has been the semester from hell for me. There's been a lot that has gone on and the majority of it has been out of my control. Twice now this semester I have found myself suicidal, the most recent being two weeks ago. I didn't realize how far along I was with my thought process until I came across the warning signs of suicidal behavior and it scared me:
5 Warning Signs of Suicidal Behavior: -Talking about having no purpose -Withdrawing or isolating oneself -Displaying extreme mood swings -Abruptly ending relationships -Avoiding work, school or jobs 
I fit every single one of these warning signs. I've felt beaten and have frequently retreated to my room to be by myself and away from everyone. My moods have gone from happy to extreme depression and loneliness. I have felt frustrated with friendships in my life and felt like people didn't care about me and weren't putting any effort into our …

Notice me, take my hand. Why are we strangers when...

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Driving home from the gym today, I broke. My iPod was on shuffle and Marilyn Monroe by Nicki Minaj came on:

Truth is we mess up
Till we get it right
I don't want to end up losing my soul

I can get low, I can get low
Don’t know which way is up
Yea I can get high, I can get high
Like I could never come down

Call it a curse
Or just call me blessed
If you can’t handle my worst
You ain’t getting my best
Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt?
Must be how Marilyn Monroe felt
All the emotions from the past week or so came flooding in as I gasped for air and felt tears flood my eyes and stream down my face. 
I arrived home and went straight to my room. I shut the door and in the dark I collapsed against it and just let myself cry alone. 
This breakdown has been a long time coming, but the straw that broke the camels back today was failing an Organic Chemistry Exam (again, second in a row, and if its possible, I did even worse). I studied my ass off, and gave up sleep, a social life, and food. And I go in an…

These Times

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These times will try hard to define me,
And I'll try to hold my head up high.
But I've seen despair here, from the inside,
It's got a one track mind.

And I have this feeling in my gut now,
And I don't know what it is I'll find.
Does anybody, ever feel like, you're always one step behind

Now I'm sitting alone here in my bed,
I'm waiting for an answer I don't know that I'll get
I cannot stand to look in the mirror, I'm failing
I'm telling you, these times are hard but they will...

And I know there's someone out there somewhere
That has it much worse than I do.
But I have a dream inside, a perfect life, I'd give anything just to work
It's like I'm only trying to dig my way out of all these things I can't
And I am,

Sitting alone here in my bed,
I'm waiting for an answer I don't know that I'll get
I cannot stand to look in the mirror, I'm failing
I'm telling you; these times are hard but they w…