Friday, November 23, 2012
I Love To See The Temple
Today was a big day. I went to the temple with my sister. It's the first time I've been to the temple in a long time. It's the first time that I've done an endowment session in over a year. It has taken me so long to come back to the temple because of mistakes that I made acting out on my attractions a year ago. I never confessed them to a Bishop and though I've never done those things again, I have still felt constant guilt and unworthiness.
Today was different. Today I went in feeling that I truly needed the upliftment and peace that only comes with the Temple. For one thing, I hate Black Friday. When I say hate, I mean LOATHE ENTIRELY. I feel like it's complete hypocrisy. Thursday we're giving thanks and putting others ahead. Then the next morning people are literally crawling over each other to buy things for themselves. It's disgusting. Plus all the people gives me so much anxiety, but I digress.
I wanted to withdraw from the world and find peace. I love being able to take of my watch, leave my cell phone in my locker and just shut off the world and devote myself solely to the Lord.
As the session progressed, I felt actually peace. I felt the Holy Ghost. I felt like I was worthy (mostly) to be there in the temple.
Somethings that saddened me though was seeing how many more sisters there were there in the session than brothers. The ratio was probably 10 to 1. Wives are going alone and husbands are staying at home. Brothers are falling by the wayside as Satan focuses his attack on the family and specifically fathers. Though I'm not married, I do believe that married couples should go to the temple at least once a month together. I think it is absolutely essential for a successful and healthy marriage.
I do confess that as I watched the witness couple at the alter, I couldn't help but wish that I could be there too... with my own spouse (but sadly in my head it was a guy). I know that that will never happen. I know that thought was just the weakness of my flesh but yeah...