Tuesday, November 13, 2012
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words
When I was in elementary school I didn't have a lot of friends. I was quiet, not athletic, and blissfully ignorant. I was the definition of "nerd". I wore the pants thats you could zip off the bottoms and become shorts. I would wear the white socks half way up my shin. I had large round glasses, I was pudgy, I wore my Old Navy Tech Vest almost every day - yes I was that guy.
My favorite thing to do was to read. I would devour any book that I could lay my hands on. Harry Potter was by and large my favorite. I have easily read each of the books in the series over a dozen times. Not only did I like to read. But I was usually the teacher's pet and top of my class.
My less than desirable traits ostracized me from the guys (lack of interest or understanding in sports). My lack of athletic talent or body removed me from the interest list of any of the girls. Anyone that was left was then turned off by my teacher's pet qualities.
So I didn't have any friend. When you're ten years old and have five siblings, you don't really care. I was perfectly fine hanging out with my parents or my siblings and their friends.
Middle School hit though and I began to experience the angst of being a teenager. I desired friends. I desired to be accepted. I eventually made a ton of girl friends (girls that were friends). But it the back of my mind I sought and wanted to be with the guys. I wanted to feel like I mattered and I was important and that I had a life. Everyone at school at stories from the weekend and pictures of themselves and their friends on their binders and in their lockers and I had no one.
Fast forward ten years to my Senior year of college. I have a ton of friends. Now mostly guys. I gave up trying to fit in a long time ago. I just behave as GMSW since there is no one else out there that is me. My friends love me and accept me. My body is in way better shape (not like it was in High School since I was a swimmer, but better than Middle School). I dress exquisitely well (I actually won best dressed in High School). I'm successful and I would say popular on the superficial level, but I keep my number of close friends really small.
I still carry with me the insecurities of having no friends from when I was younger, so I've acquired the habit of taking a lot of pictures. Pictures seem to be tangible proof to my older self that I have friends, I have a life and that people like me.
Pictures are interesting though. When one looks back at a picture, one never thinks back to bad times. A picture only brings back the good and the positive memories. Though sometimes those memories are painful because a relationship has ended since the picture and you really miss the person.
I've been reflecting over relationships I have in my life currently and going through pictures. Some bring happiness, others bring back pain, others bring back regret, others make me nostalgic.
A picture is worth a thousand words. What story will your pictures tell?