"Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them." - Alma 56:47
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
You Belong With Me
I'm tired. I'm tired of working my ass of for our friendship. I'm tired of saving your ass with school. Always bailing you out because you procrastinate and go have fun instead of being responsible. I'm sorry you feel like we're not really friends, but I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to want to do something with me. You're always with your brain dead girlfriend. I don't want to be just an unappreciated homework source for you. I'm sorry. I have more dignity than that.
And to you, I don't know what else to do for our friendship. I've worked really hard to show you that I care. To show you that I'm genuine and want a real friendship with you, but you can't seem to reciprocate. It's always when it's convenient for you. I'm sick of always being the one to text you and asking you about how you're doing. I wish you would just give me the time of day.
And to you, you hurt me. You and I are the same person. We work so hard to move the world for people and they never show us the same courtesy. I have gone out of my way to be the best friend possible to you, but I always came behind others. You always cared more about them even though they treated you like shit. You stopped texting me, calling, really being my friend for whatever reason. Now you're gone for a while and have for the most part stop talking to me all together.
Last but not least, to you. Until I met you, I never knew I could love someone so much. I never knew someone could make me so happy. I know that we are just friends and that's fine with me. But at times I let my thoughts get away from me and I dream about a life together. How it could actually work and I could actually be happy. But I know that it's not the Lord's plan and I'm fine with that. But I can't help wishing that I meant more to you, like others seem to. You are the world to me. I do anything and everything for you. You're always on my mind. You smile, I smile. But I feel like a third even fourth tier. I know you still love him. I know you talk to him all the time, I know you text him all the time. I know you want to be with him all the time. I know if you had to choose it would be him over me. I'll admit that I'm insanely jealous. But also hurt because I wish I meant that much to you. That you wanted to text me all the time and talk to me all the time, spend time with me. Not that you would have to, just the thought that you would want to.