"Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them." - Alma 56:47
You Belong With Me
I'm tired. I'm tired of working my ass of for our friendship. I'm tired of saving your ass with school. Always bailing you out because you procrastinate and go have fun instead of being responsible. I'm sorry you feel like we're not really friends, but I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to want to do something with me. You're always with your brain dead girlfriend. I don't want to be just an unappreciated homework source for you. I'm sorry. I have more dignity than that.
And to you, I don't know what else to do for our friendship. I've worked really hard to show you that I care. To show you that I'm genuine and want a real friendship with you, but you can't seem to reciprocate. It's always when it's convenient for you. I'm sick of always being the one to text you and asking you about how you're doing. I wish you would just give me the time of day.
And to you, you hurt me. You and I are the same person. We work so hard to move the world for people and they never show us the same courtesy. I have gone out of my way to be the best friend possible to you, but I always came behind others. You always cared more about them even though they treated you like shit. You stopped texting me, calling, really being my friend for whatever reason. Now you're gone for a while and have for the most part stop talking to me all together.
Last but not least, to you. Until I met you, I never knew I could love someone so much. I never knew someone could make me so happy. I know that we are just friends and that's fine with me. But at times I let my thoughts get away from me and I dream about a life together. How it could actually work and I could actually be happy. But I know that it's not the Lord's plan and I'm fine with that. But I can't help wishing that I meant more to you, like others seem to. You are the world to me. I do anything and everything for you. You're always on my mind. You smile, I smile. But I feel like a third even fourth tier. I know you still love him. I know you talk to him all the time, I know you text him all the time. I know you want to be with him all the time. I know if you had to choose it would be him over me. I'll admit that I'm insanely jealous. But also hurt because I wish I meant that much to you. That you wanted to text me all the time and talk to me all the time, spend time with me. Not that you would have to, just the thought that you would want to.
I'm an Exercise Physiology Major, and as such I am required to enroll in the Exercise Physiology class and corresponding lab. Today for lab we were required to do the skin fold test on our classmates and then have them do it on us.
I was dreading having the skin fold test done on myself. I was always the fat kid in elementary school and middle school. My body fat percentage was always a considerable amount higher than all the Ethiopian bean poles I went to school with. I'm in some of the best shape I've been in a long time right now, but I still have flash back nightmares of being teased and called fatty. So I was very shy about removing my shirt and showing my stomach. I quickly put on my shirt as soon as I could once I was done.
Then came the next part of the lab...
Each person in our group was supposed to find two people outside of class to do the skin fold test on. I called up a buddy I just met this semester, (who I do find attractive) and then I wandered into the fi…
I found out about GMSW through a mutual friend. Our friend was the one who first found the blog and told me about it. I read it and could not
hold back my tears. All the pain my best friend had gone through and I had NO
idea. It was something that ate at me constantly. I could not believe all the
things he had gone through and the worst thing was that he had to keep it to
himself because nobody knew about him and wouldn’t understand. It broke my
heart. After reading it I realized that it didn’t bother me at all. GMSW was
still the exact same person. I still loved him with all my heart and wanted to
let him know that I had no issue with this.
About a month into our last semester at college I confronted
GMSW and told him that I knew about his secret. Little did I know… he already
knew that. During our conversation I could not contain my tears. I felt as if I
was crying for him. I let out all my emotions that night. I told him that I
felt so bad for not being able to help him through hi…
Friday morning as I was getting ready for my morning classes, my roommate Scott called me into his room. He was working on a discussion board for his online religion class.
Scott: "Dude I'm on here gay bashing!" Me: (exasperated) "Dude..." Scott: "Not really. But read what I wrote." (I had him email me a copy) "People aren't naturally gay. They are naturally straight. It's mind boggling that people actually believe that. It's your lustful desires that actually make you believe that you are feeling attracted to the same sex. God has clearly stated that marriage is for man and woman. Men are attracted to women and I know I've had temptations for them as well. Women have temptations to be with men, and it's true that the desire people have to be gay are also in that same category of sin: that they are attracted and lusting after something that they want. This is not what they were forced to have, these 'natural' feelings as t…