Homeboy is feeling lonely tonight...

Let me preface this with the statement that I fully believe in and support The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am an active member (though far from perfect), I do want to follow the teachings of modern day prophets and do what is necessary for me to reach exaltation.

Last night I went to a movie with some friends called Pitch Perfect. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It's a bit crude but I was laughing the entire time. Rebel Wilson is hilarious. Think of the movie has Mean Girls + Glee and a dash of Bridesmaids.

The main character of the movie is Beca. She is a sort of rebel, whose a bit cynical and feels out of place. She meets this guy Jesse who treats her like gold. He really cares about her and is there for her when no one else in the movie was. She kept pushing him away but he continued to love her. In the end they end up together, and I admit that I developed a crush on Jesse.

As I was driving home from the movie, I just kept thinking about how I wanted that special someone in my life. That relationship that the person cares about you unconditionally and always wants what's best for you. The problem is, I like boys and have no interest in having a relationship with a girl. The Church does not support homosexuality and that will never change. I know and accept this, but sometimes (like last night) it's hard.

I walked in the door to the apartment completely dark, my roommate (who happens to be the Elders' Quorum President) was laying on top of his girlfriend making out heavily. There was no one else home. It struck a nerve with me and for one reason or another it made me really pissed. He's the Elders' Quorum President, what kind of example is he setting? He is setting himself up to get into trouble.

I also couldn't help but feel bitter because I feel like I could have a stable, healthy relationship with another guy that actually means something and isn't based all on sexual tension. We would actually be able to have intelligent conversations, cuddle, hold hands, kiss without ending up in the Bishop's Office.

I know this is all a device of the adversary. Though it sucks, I'm trying to move on. I hope that everyone has been enjoying conference so far! Crazy about them lowering the age of missionary service huh? I think back to when I was 18 and no that I could have never gone then. I was plain and simply not mature enough.

Cheers,
GMSW