Same Mistakes

Every night I lay staring at the ceiling, my thoughts can't help but always think of you. My body shakes, quivers as the ghost of you being close to me passes before my eyes. Shutting my eyes tight, the pain so intense as I silently cry, hoping you're out there thinking of me and missing me too.

I spend my days keeping busy with but a shell of what I once was. My emotions are nothing now, I am but cold and devoid of that true happiness I rarely glimpsed. I keep myself busy with the mundane of day to day life, but how much longer can I go on with this gaping hole in my heart? 

I wish I could change what happened. I wish I could undo the words I said. I wish I knew how to fix this. I wish I knew what was going on in your head. 

People ask me how I'm doing. I say I'm doing fine. It's easier to try and feel nothing than to feel hurt from your absence. I concentrate my efforts on others and their lives, but somehow I always come back to you. 

I drive in the car and a song comes on and my heart falls apart. The tears start coming and I change the song, they all remind me of you. Your laugh, your smile, they way you made me feel.

I miss you. I love you.