Gay Mormon Stripling Warrior

Driving home from the gym today, I broke. My iPod was on shuffle and Marilyn Monroe by Nicki Minaj came on: Truth is we mess up Till we get it right I don't want to end up losing my soul I can get low, I can get low Don’t know which way is up Yea I can get high, I can get high Like I could never come down Call it a curse Or just call me blessed If you can’t handle my worst You ain’t getting my best Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt? Must be how Marilyn Monroe felt All the emotions from the past week or so came flooding in as I gasped for air and felt tears flood my eyes and stream down my face.  I arrived home and went straight to my room. I shut the door and in the dark I collapsed against it and just let myself cry alone.  This breakdown has been a long time coming, but the straw that broke the camels back today was failing an Organic Chemistry Exam (again, second in a row, and if its possible, I did even worse). I studied my ass off, and gave up sleep, a ...

I'm currently enrolled in a Preparation for Eternal Marriage class at the Church sponsored University I attend. The majority of the class is those who are you guessed it, engaged and then those who soon will be engaged. Then there's me, GMSW. Most definitely and certainly single. At the beginning of every class for the first twenty minutes my professor has engaged couples go up and tell their story. They show pictures, stories, when they knew they loved each other, why they loved each other and how they got engaged.  I can usually handle these okay. I like to see the pictures and see these two people so truly in love with each other. For one reason or another though, today's couple who presented really shook me up. For one thing, they were both beautiful. They loved each other so much! All I could feel the whole time was a growing pit of misery and sadness as the thought kept screaming in my mind "I can't help but feel that I will never get to do that....