Gay Mormon Stripling Warrior

In my last post I shared an email that I wrote to my siblings where I outed myself. It was literally days before I would be boarding a plane for my sister's wedding. It was the first time my entire family would be together in 5 years. After I pushed send, I felt a huge weight lifted from my chest. I felt I could breathe and relax. Like I was no longer hiding anything. Lyn called me literally 10 minutes after I had sent the email. She and her (now) husband were on the phone. She wanted me to know that what I had told them didn't change anything. They were surprised, but they loved me just the same. They said they didn't hold any judgement towards me, they actually held more respect for having the courage to tell the whole family and then choose to stay in the Church. Lyn also asked me about my heartbreak and how I deal with that. My sister Lindsay who had up to then been texting me about a friend of ours who had decided to leave the Church and lead a gay lifestyle. ...

An email I recently sent to all my siblings: My dearest family, This email has been a long time coming. I've felt strongly prompted to write this out for a while now.  I apologize in advance Lyn for writing this right before your wedding, I don't want this to take the focus off of you. It just felt like an appropriate time since it's the first time all six of have been together since Ashtyn's wedding. With the trials our whole family has gone through, I can't help but feel the necessity to be honest and genuine with my siblings especially with the limited time that we get to see each other, plus how fragile we have come to find life is over the past couple of years. I'm gay, which Ashtyn and Benjamin I'm sure have already figured out a long time ago. Some people call it same sex attracted, same gender attracted, etc. A lot of people including Mom don't like to call it gay because it makes it sound like one is actively pursuing the life...

This past weekend was somewhat of a game changer for me. There's this girl Jane. Jane and I have had the same schedule for the past four months. All of our classes are together. The first time I saw her, I judged her because I found out she was a runner up to Miss _______ (fill in the state of your choice). I made the judgement that she was a stereotypical dumb blonde that had gotten this far in college because she had cheated off people.... oh how wrong I was. Jane and I spent a lot of time over the semester getting to know each other. We would work on physics, kinesiology, and chemistry together. Turns out she was much cleverer than me. I would give her rides home from lab. I would come over to her apartment and hang out. We would in-depth conversations about life and what we wanted. We would jam out to music. All the music on my iPod she loved... she would sing along. Not only does she have an incredible voice, but she can play the piano and guitar as well. I was able to ...

My older brother got married a couple years ago. Due to distance and serving a mission, I haven't had the opportunity to meet his wife until very recently. His wife came into town for a visit this past weekend. We were able to meet up for the first time and chat over some hot coco. We were both laughing because it felt like a date. My brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia many years ago. He has tried to kill himself several times. My family has been dealing with the trial that it is for over ten years now. We tried many experimental treatments to try to help and "cure" my brother, but to no avail. My brothers medications have caused him to put on a lot of weight and lose the body he used to be so proud of (he was studying to be a personal trainer for a while). My brother has a college degree and is a genius (like most people who struggle with mental illness), but his disease debilitates him, dumbs him down and makes it so he is unable to hold down a steady job...

For the first time in a long time, I am really happy. I just got back from the most amazing weekend. My buddy and I to spent the weekend with my family. My parents had flown in to spend time with their grandkids. I was able to spend so much time with my friend which I haven't been able to do in such a long time. I usually only get to see him for short periods of time. But this weekend, it was just him and I. I didn't have to share him or compete with others for him. It meant the world to me that he set aside the weekend for my family and I. In addition to that, he got along really well with my family. First thing he did when he met my mother was hug her. Then when we got ready to leave to head back to school, he hugged both my mom AND my dad. My family was so kind to my friend. They really loved him. There were no awkward moments or pauses. Everything just felt so relaxed and right. What makes this all so significant is that my parents know that both my buddy and I are gay...